People are always asking me questions about Mom...
How is she?
How long has she been in remission?
Is she in remission?
Is she in treatment?
Is she working... when did she start working again?
On 9/11, nine years ago, Mom was diagnosed in the middle of an emergency surgery, with stage 3C ovarian cancer. 9/11 started out as an awful day anyway, where everything around us was chaotic. Then, to have this unbelievable news about the angel in our family. My mother is the center of our family...we each felt as if our own worlds were falling apart!
During her surgery, Dr. Jennifer Dulaney removed most of her cancer surgically while also performing an emergency hysterectomy. After surgery, Mom had a week of recovery in the hospital. When she returned home, she was put to bed and hardly moved an inch without help because of the extensive surgery she had just been through.
What I remember about that week, was being in Mom and Dad’s hot garage, which had a window where I could see directly into Mom’s bedroom. I could watch over her while unpacking a garage-full of Christmas merchandise for the store. I also kept her house phone with me and earned the nickname of “nap nazi”. I made sure the “nap” signs were up on all the doors when needed. The other thing I did was to unplug her phone to insure the needed quiet time from the multitude of shocked and loving friends coming to check on her.
After recovering for another week, it was time to visit Dr. Jose Lopez, her oncologist, who suggested she begin chemotherapy right away. Our whole family was there for that visit so we could listen to every detail of what he suggested for her treatments. The treatments started soon after. A few weeks later when she as attending a Gift Market in Dallas for our store, her hair began to fall out. On her return home, we went to shop for a wig and I watched in tears as her head was being shaved to fit her new wig.
It would be difficult and lengthy to recount all the medical issues that have happened to Mom for the past nine years since her diagnosis. Cancer did not take over her life on 9/ 11. She has had excellent and loving medical care from her doctors, surgeons, nurses and medical staff. Her focus has been on a healthy lifestyle. And above all, she has a faith that is rock solid. Her amazing Christian prayer warriors have lifted her in prayer all these years and have been an encouragement to her. The letters she has received from people she has never met, have been a blessing to her. There are many churches that still have her on their prayer lists.
And to answer some of the questions about how she spends her time...well, she has never stopped working. She continues to create incredible dishes for our restaurant, even though her taste buds are sometimes affected by her chemotherapy treatments. It’s her passion for food, which comes through naturally. She loves puttering in her garden and overseeing the grounds at The Peach Tree with Dad. Going on weeklong Gift Market buying trips energize her, where it might exhaust the average person. Often when I’m re-displaying the shop, she will come in and help or we just enjoy a good visit. Then, there are the errands to the local farmers for fresh produce, or a quick trip into Central Market for some special ingredients, and on and on...
If it is possible, I wonder sometimes if she has become even more productive since before cancer entered her life. One thing for sure, she has always had a lot of creative energy that seems to drive her. But, I have also seen her at peace when she is resting, whether taking a nap, visiting with friends, knitting, or spending a day with a grandchild. These past nine years, Mom has been living an incredibly full life while managing cancer!
In the beginning of her treatment, she was given a vision which seemed to free her from the fear of chemotherapy. She imagined the drops of chemo going into her body – not as poison, but each drop as an arrow of blessing – together with prayers fighting for her good. Just as the planes changed our nation forever on 9/11, cancer changed our lives, but it has not taken over our lives. There is a bigger picture. Since that terrible first day, Mom has been able to enjoy the births of four more precious grandchildren. There have been countless perfectly wonderful today’s to enjoy.
One of my biggest life lessons has come from her in the simple knowledge that all we have is today – so be useful and make it great because this is where we are right now. We have to trust God for the future since none of us know what will happen tomorrow. We must “Celebrate the Gift of the Temporary”!